Cribbs’ Notes

The Raiders’ new wideout on chivalry, why modern medicine should be ashamed, and doing the Moonwalk

By Josh Cribbs

1. I think airlines need to stop telling people to turn off their phones when they know it doesn’t affect the aircraft at all. Just tell us the real reason—we can handle it.

2. I think everyone should have to do mandatory community service hours or be taxed higher.

3. I think LeBron James should go back to Cleveland and all will be forgiven in the universe.

4. I think the NFL needs to be more aggressive in helping players find jobs after football.

5. I think chivalry is still alive. But if more people used it, there might be a lot fewer single people. It’s how I met my wife!

6. I think smiling is contagious and by smiling you can positively affect someone’s mood for the day.

7. I think medical science should be ashamed. We haven’t cured cancer or AIDS, but we have found a way to prolong erections.

8. I think I would be way more afraid of Jason than Freddy Krueger.

9. I think every person born in the early ’80s, or earlier, has tried to do Michael Jackson’s Moonwalk at least once.

10. I think I might be in love with Khaleesi from Game of Thrones, Olivia Pope from Scandal and Olivia Benson from Law & Order SVU, but I can’t tell my wife.

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