Philly Police Are Now Trying Gear Oil to Keep Eagles Fans From Climbing Street Poles

Crisco didn’t work, so...
Philly Police Are Now Trying Gear Oil to Keep Eagles Fans From Climbing Street Poles
Philly Police Are Now Trying Gear Oil to Keep Eagles Fans From Climbing Street Poles /

Philadelphia police thought they came up with a genius plan to keep Eagles-related celebrations civil after the NFC championship game: coat the street poles downtown in a liberal layer of Crisco. But after the police commissioner conceded on Tuesday that the vegetable shortening scheme was a bust, the cops have come up with another idea. 

The police are planning to use gear oil—the type a mechanic uses to keep your transmission running smoothly—to thwart any would-be pole climbers after the Super Bowl on Sunday, according to Fox 29 in Philadelphia.

While fans were able to scale the Crisco-coated poles with relative ease, gear oil should provide a stiffer challenge. The news station spoke to a mechanic who works with gear oil and the folks at a laundromat and came away with the conclusion that at the very least your clothes would be ruined. 

Eagles fans have been waiting since 1960 to celebrate a championship. A greasy shirt might be a reasonable price to pay 


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Dan Gartland
DAN GARTLAND

Dan Gartland is the writer and editor of Sports Illustrated’s flagship daily newsletter, SI:AM, covering everything an educated sports fan needs to know. He joined the SI staff in 2014, having previously been published on Deadspin and Slate. Gartland, a graduate of Fordham University, is a former Sports Jeopardy! champion (Season 1, Episode 5).