Broncos WR KJ Hamler Discusses Suicidal Thoughts After Grandmother’s Death

He said his ACL injury and the death of his grandmother took a serious toll on him.

Editors’ note: If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide or is in emotional distress, contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK(8255) or at 988lifeline.org.

Broncos wide receiver KJ Hamler spoke honestly at the lectern Monday when he shared he has had suicidal thoughts following his ACL injury and the death of his grandmother. 

“It was just so much stuff I was dealing with, being piled up,” Hamler said. “On top of each other, on top of each other. At one point, just dealing with the ACL and little bit of more things, family situations. My love of my life passed, you know, my grandmother, so that was the toughest thing.

Rarely do athletes allow themselves to be vulnerable in any setting.@Kj_hamler certainly opened up on the podium today, his 1st day back on the practice field, admitting he had sucicidal ideation, and coming out on the other side, and wanting to share his story to help others. pic.twitter.com/xfDs18rMuB

— Brandon Krisztal (@BKDenverSports) August 1, 2022

“The devil was on my back for a while,” he continued. “I wish I woulda never did it by myself. I wish I would’ve asked for help. It was at one point in my life, and I’m just being honest with y’all because I’m more vulnerable, confident in myself saying it, at one point I didn’t want to be here. I ain’t wanna be in this world. It was one point I just didn’t wanna be on earth no more because I lost my granny and that really hurt me.”

Hamler was selected in the second round of the 2020 NFL draft out of Penn State and in Week 3 of his second year, he tore his ACL which caused him to miss the rest of the season. At some point since the injury, his grandmother died, and it’s evident her death had a major impact on his mental health. But now he’s poised to return to the field in ’22 and appears to be taking it one day at a time. 

“God gave me the strength just to get out that hole,” Hamler said. “He knew I was strong enough to get through; I didn’t feel like I was at the time. Just getting out that hole is very hard, very tough. 

“It was a hard process but just to see where I’m at from where I started to where I’m at now, big change, and I’m proud of myself and I know my grandmother proud,” he added.