Turning Pages of ‘100 Things Colts Fans:’ Peyton Manning’s Camp Pranks

Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning was the ultimate prankster. Perhaps his best work is in Chapter 57's “Golf cart camp capers” from the 2013 book '100 Things Colts Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die.'

He has a statue in front of Lucas Oil Stadium and will undoubtedly be a first-ballot Pro Football Hall of Famer next year.

Some day, Peyton Manning needs to be roasted as the ultimate NFL prankster.

With his permission, Chapter 57 of the 2013 book 100 Things Colts Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die (Triumph Books) focuses on a couple of his greatest pranks during training camp, when the Colts worked out at Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology in Terre Haute, Ind.

Talking to his victims for the book brought the gags back to life, admittedly more than they wanted.

“The body of water referred to as “Lake Rose-Hulman” became the unlikeliest of parking places for Indianapolis Colts golf carts – somehow stuck on a dock in the middle of the pond,” the chapter began. “Off-the-record whispers suggested quarterback Peyton Manning was the mastermind, but nothing was ever written. If anybody snitched, they would risk being an obvious target for another elaborate prank. And reporters didn’t dare cross that line with Manning. He was too important of an interview.”

This was so true. In fact, the chapter wasn’t even in the original outline for the book. Equipment manager Jon Scott made the suggestion that Peyton’s pranks had to be in there. The first reaction was to suggest Peyton would never give the OK. Scott assured he would. And, how about that, Scott got Peyton’s permission.

Seven years later, thank you again, Jon.

What we might never know for sure are the accomplices for these golf cart heists. Offensive guard Adam Meadows always tried to plead innocence, but he was a likely culprit because of his healthy sense of humor. Come on, Peyton didn’t pull that dock to the edge of the pond, chain the cart on there, and float it back without somebody helping.

And this became an annual occurrence, this dubious camp tradition.

Even Colts president Bill Polian’s cart ended up floating. Strength and conditioning coach Jon Torine and director of broadcast services Jeffrey Gorman were among the victims.

Keep in mind, these carts were important. The Colts practice fields were about 400 yards away from the locker room. It was often interesting to see how many players could pile onto one of those carts.

Torine provided a great story about the day his cart was on the dock. The cafeteria had large windows with a picturesque lake view. Torine realized one day that was his cart. And here came no-nonsense head coach Jim Mora. Torine feared the worst.

“Is that your golf cart?” Mora asked.

“Yes, coach, I think it is,” Torine said, somewhat sheepishly.

“That’s hilarious,” Mora said, laughing. “How did they get that out there?”

A relieved Torine remembers thinking, “Thank God he’s not pissed.”

Torine recalled Manning’s predictable smirk when confronted about being behind such practical jokes.

“Peyton always had his pat answer, ‘I’m really flattered you would think it was me because I know it’s good stuff, but it wasn’t me,’” Torine said. “Don’t kid yourself. He’s proud of this stuff. There’s nothing that he puts a finger on that he doesn’t try to do ‘A’ work, including the golf cart prank.”

It’s also worth pointing out that few tried to pull one over on Peyton.

“Nobody was off-limits to Peyton’s pranks,” tight end Ken Dilger said. "He could definitely dish it out, but he couldn’t take it.”

As the chapter heads toward an amusing conclusion, Gorman shares how he learned his lesson after complaining about when his cart “took a swim.”

“Somebody said, ‘Hey, there’s a golf cart on ‘Lake Rose-Hulman,’” Gorman said. “I looked and sure enough. On top of that, I had to pay one of the custodians at Rose-Hulman 20 bucks to get my golf cart back. It ended up costing me money. Geez.”

After Peyton denied it, of course, he doubled down on a disgusted Gorman.

The next day, Gorman’s truck went missing. Campus police found it.

“It was on the 50-yard line of the practice field covered in Saran wrap,” he said.

Gorman wanted to get Peyton back, but didn’t. Torine provided the perfect final word on not making that mistake.

“Don’t try to beat somebody with time, resources and intellect,” Torine said. “You’re never going to win.”