Cowboys' Flubbed Farewells: From Landry to Parcells to Jimmy to Week 18 in Washington?

Ranking the Dallas Cowboys' 88s, Luka Doncic's creative boredom at Dallas Mavericks games, latest local radio ratings, and tech gremlins already glitching 2024, all in this week's DFW sports notebook.

WHITT'S END 1.5.24

Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …

*Dinosaur extinction? Difficult as it is to fathom, this might be the final Sunday with Bill Belichick and Pete Carroll as NFL head coaches. With victories over both Caroll’s Seahawks and Belichick’s Patriots this season, the Dallas Cowboys have helped increase the heat on both the legend’s hot seats.

At 72 (Carroll) and 71 (Belichick), they are the league’s oldest coaches. And also two of the all-time best. But as Tom Landry proved 35 years ago, there is no easy – or right – way to usher out an icon.

After winning Super Bowl XII in the 1977 season, Landry coached 11 more years without a title. In the wake of Hall-of-Fame quarterback Roger Staubach's retirement, his Cowboys lost three consecutive NFC Championship Games and over his last six seasons he didn't win a single playoff game.

In 1988 Landry’s team finished 3-13. With a roster that was either too old (Ed “Too Tall” Jones and Everson Walls), too young (Michael Irvin and Nate Newton) or simply too bad (Steve Pelluer), they lost their season finale to the Philadelphia Eagles, 23-7, at Texas Stadium. Though both Cowboys owner Bum Bright and general manager Tex Schramm privately knew it was time for the 64-year-old Tom to go – the game, and the players who played it, had indeed passed him by – they didn’t dare shove out a living legend and Texas treasure.

On the verge of being hired by Schramm as head coach in 1987, Marty Schottenheimer heard the news that Landry was refusing to retire on his car radio while house hunting in Dallas.

“I could step down tomorrow, and I don't think I would go hungry,” Landry said in the middle of the disastrous 1988 season. “We agreed on what we wanted to do before the season began. But if that changes, then it changes. I would never re-evaluate to retire or not to retire in the middle of the season. I knew we were going to hit a spot like this. We are a very inexperienced team.”

Instead of pulling the trigger on a transaction he knew would eternally haunt him, Bright sold the team Arkansas oil man Jerry Jones and let him do the dirtiest of work.

Bottom line: Whether Fedora hat or sweatshirt hoodie, legacies will last but farewells can be fiddly.

Remember …

Jimmy Johnson – Cowboys’ newest Ring of Honor member infamously divorced from Jones after winning back-to-back Super Bowls in 1992-93.

Barry Switzer – Two seasons after leading the Cowboys to Super Bowl XXX, he quit after a 6-10 season in 1997 capped by a five-game losing streak.

Bill Parcells – He suddenly quit – and retired – in 2007 in the wake of Tony Romo’s bobbled field-goal hold that cost the Cowboys a playoff win in Seattle.

Dick Motta – Mavericks’ original coach quit in a huff after a first-round playoff exit in 1987.

Don Nelson – The nurturer of Dirk Nowitzki and curator of talent that went to the NBA Finals a year later quit the Mavericks late in the 2005 season despite a 44-22 record.

Rick Carlisle – The only Mavs coach to win a title abruptly resigned in a turbulent 2021 offseason that also saw the departure of long-time GM Donnie Nelson.

Ron Washington – Not far removed from leading the Texas Rangers to back-to-World Series, he shockingly resigned in September 2014 after admitting to cheating on his wife.

Ken Hitchcock – Despite leading the Stars to back-to-back Stanley Cup Finals in 1999-2000, he was fired in 2001 with the team sporting a winning record.

*January 8, 2023: Cowboys play Week 18 at Washington with a chance to win the NFC East and lose, 26-6. 

January 7, 2024: Cowboys play Week 18 at Washington with a chance to win the NFC East and …

No, there is no logical reason as we sit here today to seriously predict a Mike McCarthy dismissal. And we're not predicting such a thing. We're just noting the fiddly, finicky nature of the beast.

*Watch Luka Doncic and Kyrie Irving combine for 70 points through three quarters of Wednesday night’s blowout of Portland and think, “Wow, maybe the Mavs can be good if they stay healthy.” Watch Spurs’ 7-foot-4 superstar rookie Victor Wembanyama block a dunk attempt by Bucks’ two-time MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo Thursday night and think, “Wow, the Mavs don’t have anyone remotely close to being able to do that.”

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*What a disappointing end to a dynamic Texas Longhorns season. Four plays from the 11-yard line to cap a miraculous rally to beat Washington and earn a spot in college football’s National Championship Game and … none of the four passes land in the end zone?! One was a swing pass behind the line of scrimmage. One hit the wall of the stands a good eight yards behind the end line. One was caught by a ball boy on the sideline. One was unlikely to be caught along the side of the end zone, but was swatted away just for good measure. 

Intercepted or not, an 11-yard Hail Mary had a better chance at succeeding.

*Radio Ratings: DFW loves it some sports, and some sports radio. In ratings covering the fourth quarter of 2023 (Sept. 14-Dec. 6), sports talk stations The Ticket and The Fan held the top spot in morning, midday, afternoon and overall in the coveted demographic aged 25-54. Amazingly, no show on either station ranked lower than No. 3 in the market. While still lagging behind a distant third, The Freak is slowly gaining traction and for the first time boasts a Top 10 show with Mike Rhyner’s offering in the afternoon. While The Ticket has a clear edge in the older, established demo, The Fan is winning both the 18-34 and 18-49 swaths of younger DFW listeners.

Morning:     1. Ticket 12.2   3. Fan 7.1         20. Freak 1.5

Midday:       1. Fan 8.4          2. Ticket 7.7     17. Freak 1.7

Afternoon: 1. Ticket 10.5    2. Fan 8.4       10. Freak 3.2

Overall:       1. Ticket 10.3    2. Fan 7.9        15. Freak 2.2

*The French (dis)Connection: Through the years I’ve had trouble understanding what Jerry was trying to say, but this week took his “lost in translation” to a new level. During an interview on The Fan the owner was rambling on when suddenly a robotic, female voice interrupted and the call live on the air and hung up. At first I thought it was Japanese Siri, but after a couple of giggling listens I think it’s French. I hear “Orange,” which is a big telecom company in France. 

Why – or how? – Jerry would be using a French carrier for a local call is … because Jerry, that’s why. 

The confounding interruption is at the 11:00 mark here. 

Speaking of tech gremlins, this week I was sitting in my car attempting to watch a video that was texted to me on my phone. When I hit the play button, my phone – which was connected to my car via Bluetooth – made a call to a random contact that I had saved, but never before called. And then, it did it again. Weirdest of all, when I checked my “recent” calls on my phone there was no record of either call being made. 

Cue Rod Serling. I have a better explanation for Jerry’s French twist.

*Hot.

*Not.

*Despite CeeDee Lamb’s record-breaking season, my rankings of all-time Cowboys No. 88s: 1. Drew Pearson; 2. Michael Irvin; 3. Dez Bryant; 4. Lamb; 5. Ron Sellers (I rest my case).

*I don’t blame Lions fans for never wanting to play the Cowboys in Texas again. Well before last Saturday night’s clustereff of a game-deciding “reporting” penalty, in a playoff game in 2014 there was the controversial fourth-quarter flag for pass interference against Cowboys’ linebacker Anthony Hitchens that was ultimately picked up without explanation in Dallas’ 24-20 win.

*Luka is worth the price of admission … even before the game starts. During pre-game warmups he’ll juggle the ball with his feet as if playing soccer and attempt outrageous trick shots such as throwing the ball one-handed a good 50 feet in the air and have it swish through the net. Or, Wednesday night, he threw down a monstrous dunk in the layup line. Why? I honestly think the actual games are too easy for him and he gets bored.

*When football is over I plan to launch my start-up company, Radical Richie, Inc. What will we invent? 

“Dog Pause”: A remote control that can stop your dog in its tracks (no more getting hit by cars, you’re welcome). 

“Hair Halt”: A pill you take that will stop all hair growth (the perfect haircut forever and no more shaving, you’re welcome). 

“Speed Sense”: A chip-sensor system inside vehicles and humans that keeps a live “score” based on your driving habits and allows only safe, law-abiding drivers to drive at faster speeds (no more angry tailgaters, you’re welcome).

Just kidding, this offseason I just plan to travel some more.

*If the Patriots lose Sunday, Belichick with tie Landry for the NFL record with 178 career losses including playoffs. Hat, make room for Hoodie.

*If we didn’t know any better – do we?! – it appears that Micah Parsons cares 51 percent about the Cowboys and 49 percent about Micah Parsons. In his first two seasons he finished with 13 and 13.5 sacks. Stuck again on 13 heading into Washington, he plans to record No. 14 come Hell or high water. Even if it means potentially costing his team a penalty. 

“At this point, it’s any means necessary,” Parsons said. “I might jump offside twice this week. Something has to change. It’s coming. It’s coming for sure.”

Maybe I’m nit-picky, but I’d rather hear my defensive leader say something along the lines of “I don’t know how many sacks I have, because this is a team game and personal stats are irrelevant. All that matters is that we have 11 wins, and when we get on the plane to come home from Washington we better have 12.”

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*I dunno, if you’re naïve enough to answer the door and follow a supposed “tree trimmer” wearing civilian clothes out to your alley to look up for a drone … you kinda deserve to be scammed.

*Cowboys fans, there was no “Jimmy Jinx” that was somehow broken by Johnson going into the Ring of Honor. Not sure you remember, but two years after he left the team won a Super Bowl.

*This Weekend? Let’s spend the first Friday of the year writing. Let’s spend the first Saturday of the year on the tennis court. Let’s spend the first Sunday of the year watching Cowboys-Washington. As always, don’t be a stranger.

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