Dear Cowboys: Don’t Sign Robbie Gould - ‘It’s Personal!’

"My mom, 30 years older than Robbie Gould, left my stepfather and moved to Chicago with the NFL kicker.'' - My Dallas Cowboys nightmare ... and it's just beginning ...

SAN ANTONIO - Many folks who've listened to my talk show over the years are familiar with The Robbie Gould story. While it was more than eight years ago, “Thunderdomers” (as I call my listeners) will mention it from time to time whenever his name appears. 

It's an outlandish tale that defies logic or reason as to why. … 

It was sometime in 2015. One night I had a nightmare that the veteran kicker Gould ran off with my mother. Seriously. This crazy dream came on during "rem" sleep - you know, the kind of sleep that is so deep and intense one can't wake up.

In the dream, my mom, 30 years older than Gould, left my stepfather and moved to Chicago with the NFL kicker.

Excuse me? Dreaming that my mother - "Grandma Becky,” as I affectionately call her - runs off with somebody is one awful thing. But the baffling part is … why on earth was it with Robbie Gould? Had I seen him in a news report and my brain subconsciously put him in there? It's not like he had any Texas ties whatsoever. 

This is the first half of this insane story. Here is the crummy punchline …

Three weeks later, in real life this time, my father was involved in a terrible car accident. I was in the middle of the radio show when my phone started blowing up with voicemails from my stepmom telling me to call home as soon as I could. 

My dad had been taking his mother-in-law to work that morning and they were stuck in traffic. Unfortunately they were the last car in the backed-up bottleneck and idling just over a hill. A pickup truck came speeding over that hill and the driver hadn't noticed the logjam of cars and plowed right into the back of "Big Mike's" car. 

The force was so strong it flipped my dad's car upside-down. Both my father and my stepmom's mother were taken to a hospital and thankfully only sustained bumps and bruises, but were very shaken up mentally. 

As for the truck who hit them? The driver sped off! Turns out the truck had been reported stolen two days prior.

About three weeks after the wreck my father got word that the truck had been found and the thief was arrested. Good news. The weird part? The owner of the truck's last name? Gould. "G.O.U.L.D. … as in how Robbie Gould's name is spelled.

Yes, I once dreamt that my mama ran off to be with veteran NFL kicker Robbie Gould and three weeks later in real life my father's car was crushed by a stolen pickup owned by a man named Gould. 

Rationally, I realize this is a huge coincidence and means nothing. And yet … when I read CowboysSI.com about the Dallas Cowboys having any connection at all with Robbie Gould, you can understand why I’m (irrationally) rooting for Plano's own Brandon Aubrey or Tristan Vizcaino or anybody but “The Nightmare Gould.”

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