Happy Festivus! An Airing of Patriots Grievances

We, at Patriots Country, have a lot of problems with the 2022 New England Patriots season, and now you’re gonna hear about it.

'Twas the day before Christmas Eve, and the New England Patriots are ... on to Cincinnati. The 7-7 Pats are once again set to put their playoff hopes on the line, as they host the postseason-bound Bengals (10-4)  at Gillette Stadium (1 p.m. ET, CBS). 

This year has been an enigmatic campaign in Foxboro. While a sporting a .500 record heading into the home stretch can hardly be portrayed as a disaster, it is equally fair to say that the Pats have fallen short of expectations. Quarterback Mac Jones has regressed in his second season at the offensive helm. The offensive playcalling duties have been entrusted to a coach known mostly for his work in crafting defensive strategy. An inability to score points, breakdowns in special teams coverage, and untimely penalties have overshadowed some of New England’s bright spots in the running game and the defensive front seven. There is little question as to why Patriots fans are frustrated. 

In short, it might be time to air some grievances in New England ... What better day to do it, than Festivus? 

What is Festivus? 

For those who may be unfamiliar with the pseudo-holiday, Festivus is celebrated on December 23 as a secular alternative to the pressures and commercialism of the Christmas season. 

While the fictional character of Frank Costanza (brilliantly portrayed by the later great Jerry Stiller) is often credited as its originator, the story of Festivus actually began 31 years before its claim-to-fame moment on NBC’s Seinfeld. 

The concept was originally created in 1966 by author Daniel O'Keefe of Reader’s Digest, who did so as a satirical way to commemorate his first date with his wife, Deborah. In 1997, O’Keefe’s son Dan (then a writer for the popular sitcom) brought the idea into the consciousness of popular culture, making it the focus of the episode "The Strike" in Seinfeld’s ninth and final season. 

The rest, as they say, is television history. 

In that vein…Get the pole out of the crawl space, and prepare for the feats of strength, as the staff at Patriots Country incorporates the tenets of Festivus into the 2022 Patriots season. 

Let the ‘airing of grievances’ commence:

Geoff Magliocchetti: MVP'd Off

If there's been one consistent source of New England football power this season, it's been Matthew Judon, the former Baltimore pass rusher who has ironically made a home in Foxboro by spending more time in opposing backfields. 

Yes, there are plenty of issues with the Patriots as currently constructed: the glaring lack of big plays is unacceptable and unsustainable in today's NFL, Mac Jones' vital years of development are being overseen by defensive-minded supervisors, the rebuilt receiving corps has been forced to turn to a rookie cornerback. But that just makes the consistent defensive efforts of Judon all the more impressive and all the more valuable ... you know, what the "V" in MVP stands for?

Thus this grievance concerns not the Patriots themselves ... trust us, we've done plenty of that last week considering what happened in Las Vegas on Sunday ... but rather that those concerned about the MVP award more or less refuse to give Judon the time of day. His case would obviously be sexier if the Patriots entered the holiday weekend in a playoff spot, but if any team knows about how a good defense can derail a championship cause, it's the Patriots. 

The complaint thus goes to those in charge of the NFL's MVP voting, one that appears bent on turning the process into an exclusive quarterback debate. It's no secret that the "defense wins championships" axiom is a bit of an endangered concept in modern professional football and several throwers (i.e. Jalen Hurts, Patrick Mahomes, Joe Burrow) have made healthy cases and then some. But there's no doubt that Judon (who, admittedly, has gotten some help in recent weeks thanks to, say, Josh Uche) has kept the Patriots' seasons afloat as the offense tries to find itself.

Mike D’Abate: The Bourne Identity?

Much like Frank Constanza was bewildered at the very thought of his beloved New York Yankees trading away top outfield prospect Jay Buhner (for the bat of … wait for it … Ken Phelps?!?), Patriots fans are wondering where one of New England’s most productive offensive weapons has been all season. 

Having signed with the Patriots as a free agent in the 2021 offseason, Kendrick Bourne quickly became one of the team’s most reliable receivers. In his first season with New England, Bourne caught 55 passes for 800 yards and five touchdowns in 17 games. In the Pats' lone playoff matchup with the Buffalo Bills, he logged seven catches for 77 yards and two touchdowns. He also demonstrated an ability to be a threat in the running game, 12 carries for 125 yards. The versatile wideout even tossed one touchdown pass; coming in the form of a 25-yard, first-quarter scoring strike to Nelson Agholor against the New York Jets in Week 7

Heading into his second season with the club, Bourne was expected to use his widespread skill set to enhance his role in New England’s offense. Obviously, that has not been the case. 

In 13 games this year, the 27-year-old Bourne has seen a 10 percent reduction in playing time. In the process, he has been targeted just 32 times, catching 24 passes for 270 yards and no touchdowns. While it has been rumored that Bourne’s apparent demotion stems from a disconnect with the Pats’ offensive coaching staff, it is hard to believe a player with his talent and potential would be kept off the field merely for punitive reasons. 

Regardless of the reason, few would argue that the Patriots' offense would function a bit more smoothly with Bourne aligning both on the permitter and in the slot … and perhaps a jet-sweep for good measure.

Richie Whitt: Football IQ?

I still can't get over what we saw last Sunday. Especially from one of the best coaches in the history of organized sports.

Instead of New England being 8-6 and in the thick of the playoff race, it inexplicably bypassed taking a knee and going to overtime against the Raiders and then ...

You know the story.

The NFL is too difficult and the Patriots are too mediocre to just give a game away.

Inexcusable. And yep, indelible.

Lots of things went wrong for the Pats this season. But when they miss the playoffs, the lasting image will be Mac Jones getting stiff-armed by Chandler Jones.  

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