NFL Analyst Insults New England Patriots: Star Wars 'Rock Bottom'

NFL Network's Kyle Brandt ventured to a galaxy far, far away to bestow a harsh critique of the New England Patriots.

New England Patriots fans have felt a great disturbance in The Force over the first four weeks of the 2023 NFL season. 

The Patriots' football fortunes have turned to the Dark Side, as the fully armed and operational battle station known as the Dallas Cowboys bestowed Foxborough's finest the most one-sided defeat of the Bill Belichick era with a 38-3 shellacking at AT&T Stadium on Sunday. It's a stark contrast to how Patriots fans felt two seasons ago, when they reached the NFL postseason in the first year of the Mac Jones era, two years after Tom Brady moved on to Tampa Bay.

Speaking on Wednesday's edition of "Good Morning Football" on NFL Network, analyst Kyle Brandt compared the Jones era to the polarizing sequel trilogy of the "Star Wars" franchise's nine episodic installments. The 2021 season, for example, was comparable to the first chapter, "The Force Awakens." In the same way that the seventh episode centered on new protagonists (i.e. Rey, Finn, Poe Dameron), several new faces helped the Patriots reach the postseason. 

These newcomers, including Jones, Matt Judon, and Kyle Dugger seemed to paint a positive picture for the road ahead, much like how "Force Awakens" was well-received by both critics and fans, who believed that "Star Wars" was back on track after the equally polarizing prequel trilogy released by creator George Lucas between 1999 and 2005.

“Go back to Episode VII," It’s a rebirth. It’s new characters, new people you care about," Brandt said. "That is the Mac Jones rookie year. It’s kind of working. It’s likable, I like these new characters, you've done the impossible, you've made us fall in love (again) ... It's a little derivative of prior stories, but that's fine.”

The latest effort of Bill Belichick (L) has drawn an unfavorable comparison to "Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker." :: USA TODAY SPORTS/Lucasfilm

Brandt then goes on to compare last season to the middle installment, "The Last Jedi." While Episode VIII received positive reviews from critics, it proved to be one of the most contentious entries among the galactic fanbase. Whereas some appreciated the franchise going in a different direction, others felt certain decisions involving the series' classic characters (primarily original trilogy hero Luke Skywalker) created a dangerous road ahead for both familiar faces and newcomers alike.

The Patriots matched "Last Jedi"'s polarizing perception by posting an 8-9 season. Judon returned to enjoy another eventful year in the pass rush but several other vital pieces (i.e. Jones, Kendrick Bourne) took noticeable steps back.

"You knew you were in trouble within the first 30 seconds when Luke Skywalker tosses his father's lightsaber over his shoulder in a stupid psyche act that didn't work," Brandt declares of Episode VIII's opening stanzas. "You're like 'battle stations, guys. I don't know if these movies are going to work.'" 

"Star Wars" ended the episodic "Skywalker Saga" with "The Rise of Skywalker" in 2019. Simultaneously attempting to rectify the supposed mistakes of "Last Jedi" and generating a satisfying ending to the series proved to be too much, as neither critics nor fans were satisfied by Episode IX.

Brandt sees the Patriots' dreary starts in 2023 akin to the mostly negative reception. He compared the Patriots' depression in Dallas to Episode IX's most contentious moments, such as the character Rey, portrayed by Daisy Ridley (whom Brandt defends as doing her best with bad material) takes on the Skywalker moniker. 

Ridley is expected to reprise her role as Rey in a new film centered on the character, a point Brandt brings up when he returns to football.

"I heard there's a new Rey movie coming out. I don't know who cares about that movie but hopefully there's new things coming from the Patriots," he said. "We appear to have hit rock bottom, 'Rise of Skywalker' rock bottom, my gosh." 

Brandt caps off his review by imitating the character of Dameron (portrayed by Oscar Isaac) during an infamous scene where he confirms the mostly unexplained return of overarching franchise antagonist Emperor Palpatine, by facetiously declaring "Somehow, Belichick returned." 

While likely nowhere near its former glory, "Star Wars" has managed to get somewhat back on track thanks to streaming television series like "Ahsoka," "Andor," "The Mandalorian," and "Obi-Wan Kenobi." The Patriots will likely need The Force on their side to climb back into the AFC postseason picture. A three-turnover day from Jones led to his benching during Sunday's defeat and the team also endured injuries to star defenders Judon and Christian Gonzalez. 

New England will lock its s-foils into attack position on Sunday when they host the New Orleans Saints (1 p.m. ET, CBS).

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