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NHL Teams Roast Utah in Schedule Release Videos

The NHL didn't hold back when attacking the Utah Hockey Club.

Noah Strackbein

Jun 28, 2024; Las Vegas, Nevada, USA; NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman looks on as Utah Hockey Club is on the clock during the first round of the 2024 NHL Draft at The Sphere. Mandatory Credit: Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports
Jun 28, 2024; Las Vegas, Nevada, USA; NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman looks on as Utah Hockey Club is on the clock during the first round of the 2024 NHL Draft at The Sphere. Mandatory Credit: Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports / Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

Teams across the NHL are finally starting to take pages from the NFL’s playbook and getting creative with the offseason. The NHL released each teams schedule for the 2024-25 season, and following in the footsteps of football teams, a few NHL squads made videos to announce their ledger.

The Arizona Coyotes have been relocated to Utah and are set to enter the 2024-25 season without an official team name. This presented ample opportunity for teams across the NHL to poke fun at the nameless franchise.

Carolina Hurricanes

The Carolina Hurricanes set their video in a local supermarket and featured multiple notable faces across their organization. Their shot at Utah came when their mascot found a greeting card that said “New home sweet home.”

Crossing out possible names like the Mammoth or Yeti, Stormy finally landed on Hockey Club.

Chicago Blackhawks

The Chicago Blackhawks released parts of their schedule as a game of “Guess Who?” Instead of the usual characters, the players were guessing team names by taking slight digs at each opponent.

For Utah, Hall of Fame mascot Tommy Hawk held up a giant, blank nametag sticker. A dead giveaway for the opposing player because Utah still doesn’t have a team name.

Los Angeles Kings

While the first couple of teams only made small references, the Los Angeles Kings dug deep on their former rival Coyotes. In a dramatic reading from voice actor and comedian Ryan Goldsher, imitating Matthew McConaughey, ran down the key opponents on the Kings schedule like a crime investigation.

When getting to Utah, Goldsher stuttered over the team.

“Then we play verse Ariz…. Then we play verse Utah,” He said covering the old Coyotes logo with Utah’s. Above Utah’s new logo was a printed list of the possible team names.

A few more refences were made toward the Arizona as the video went on. Goldsher continued to throw shots at teams from around the NHL, but the Coytes felt a few hits.

“I miss Mullett Arena,” Goldsher said. “Met a girl there, she had a mullet of her own.”

New Jersey Devils

The New Jersey Devils also cut into Utah/Arizona. While sporting an obviously fake mustache and eyebrows, defenseman Dougie Hamilton noted key games in the Devils schedule while “teaching” geography.

Pointing with the butt-end of a hockey stick, Hamilton poked at the state of Arizona.

“Arizona, the desert in the west,” Hamilton said before a long pause. “Utah? I don’t know anything about Utah.”

New York Islanders

It’s not often a team run by Lou Lamoriello does something fun and outside the box, but the New York Islanders made a quick schedule release video of their own.

In an infomercial-styled clip, the only team other than the Islanders referenced was Utah.

“If all that is still not enough to crash your crease,” the announcer said. “We’re going to add a game against a team so new, they haven’t even decided on a name yet.”

While reading that line, the list of possible names scrolled across the screen.

St. Louis Blues

In the St. Louis Blues release video, most of the staff seemed to already be on vacation. One intern, however, was tasked to make the video, and he turned to AI for help.

Without a name to land out, the intern referred to Utah as the “Utah Yeti Mammoth Blizzard Outlaw Venom Hockey Playing Team.”

The AI image used for Utah was a poorly designed moving truck moving out of the desert. As one last joke, the intern wondered if they asked the moving truck driver what their Uber rating was.

A quick shot at Utah’s front office asking prospects what their Uber scores were at the most recent NHL combine.

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Noah Strackbein

NOAH STRACKBEIN

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