John Welbourn on the Power of Physical Connection: Why Men Bond Through Action

Former NFL lineman John Welbourn discusses how men bond differently than women, with physical activities like training and martial arts offering a natural outlet for deeper conversations and camaraderie.

In a candid moment, John Welbourn, former NFL player and founder of Power Athlete HQ, highlights an essential aspect of male friendships: men and women form connections differently. While women excel in maintaining social structures and fostering connection through conversations, men tend to bond over shared activities, especially physical ones.

Welbourn's observation came from his personal experience during the COVID-19 lockdown. While his wife had virtual happy hours with her friends over Zoom, Welbourn was less inclined to engage in social calls with his buddies. "My friend was like, 'Hey, do you want to drink a beer on Zoom?'" Welbourn recalls. "I was like, 'Not at all. But if you want to send me memes while we drink beers, that'll be funny.'"

This humorous insight reflects a more profound truth about male socialization. Men often shy away from sitting down to discuss their emotions or engage in traditional forms of social interaction that involve emotional vulnerability. Instead, Welbourn notes, men need an outlet to foster connection, and that outlet is often found in physical activities like sports or training.

Physical Activity as a Conduit for Conversation

Welbourn emphasizes that weightlifting, martial arts, and jiu-jitsu offer men a natural and comfortable bonding environment. These activities foster physical strength and create opportunities for more meaningful conversations to arise naturally.

“I think guys need things that allow them to pull in,” Welbourn explains. “Training together, by far the best one. Like we’ve talked about on this podcast, jiu-jitsu is great. Fighting, boxing classes, anything that puts you into doing something physical.”

These physical outlets are influential for men because they provide a setting where conversations can occur organically, without the pressure to "open up" in the conventional sense. "I don't think a lot of dudes... are sitting around saying, 'Let's just go get a drink and talk about our emotions,'" says Welbourn. "But what happens is, 'Hey, let's lift weights,' and as I'm training, you have a conversation that might be slightly heavier than normal."

The Value of Action-Oriented Friendships

Welbourn underscores a more extensive idea: men often connect through action. Whether working out at the gym, rolling on the jiu-jitsu mat, or sparring in a boxing ring, these physical activities offer an outlet for emotional connection in a way that feels natural to many men.

Ultimately, Welbourn's insight speaks to the importance of fostering environments where men can build strong relationships through shared experiences without the expectation of emotional vulnerability from the outset. Through these activities, deeper conversations often unfold, strengthening bonds in an authentic way.

For Welbourn and many others, training together is not just about building physical strength—it's about creating meaningful, lasting connections.