No One is Coming to Save You: From Yourself

As I write this we are just about two months away from the most motivated day of the year: New Year’s Day. Every year, millions of people set out on a quest to conquer whatever challenges have held them back from being the person they want to be. And every year, millions of people fail to make change, succumb to the life they have been living, and wait until the next year to take another stab at it. As the quote above, which is often misattributed to Albert Einstein, states…that’s a fool’s errand. So there’s the problem, but what’s the solution?

EWN

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

- Rita Mae Brown

The Current Landscape

My realm is health, fitness, and human performance. For this article, I’ll stick to that arena but it’s likely these issues ring true for many arenas that life has. The current landscape of this field is summed by the cliche saying “No one is coming to save you.” That is, you are responsible for yourself and you must be the agent of change. And at the surface level, I couldn’t agree more. Something I’ve learned in my nearly two decades of being in this field is that you (the coach, trainer, etc.) can’t want it more than they (the athlete, client, etc.) does. If the internal motivation is lacking, the mission is a failure before launch. But, with every New Year’s Resolution it starts with the individual. Everyone wants to make change, everyone wants to improve. And this is where the adage fails the individual. 

The Sherpa and The Mountaineer

Oftentimes, when running thought experiments with myself, I like to take things to the extreme to work through problems. For this one, I’ll set the New Year’s Resolution equal to climbing Mount Everest and we are all mountaineers. There is no doubt that someone who is wanting to conquer Everest is full of motivation. And it is likely possible that a highly motivated, highly skilled, and well-prepared individual could reach the summit without a guide. But it’s exponentially more possible that even the best mountaineer will fail if for any other reason than some unknown variable. This is where the sherpas come in. For those who don’t know, sherpas are guides that are indigenous to the area and have an understanding of the challenge that can only be learned by information passed down from generation to generation. Even with the sherpa, the mountaineer is still the one that puts one foot in front of the other. The sherpa simply (which may be an understatement) ensures that the path they are traversing is going to get them to where they need to go.

The Map is Not the Territory

When stripped to the most reductionist view, summiting Everest is simple: climb to the top. And this is something we see in the field all the time. Weight loss is simple: burn more calories than you consume. Gaining muscle is simple: lift heavy weights often. Hell…winning a Super Bowl is simple too: score more points than the other teams. Great, I’ll be waiting for the call to coach in the NFL, right? Of course not. The map is never representative of the territory. Knowing the simple path, without any real context of what's happening on the ground level, is not how you accomplish a goal. Objectives are not accomplished without a proper strategy and strategy is meaningless without proper tactics. Simply put, we don’t know what we don’t know. Everything seems simple if you have a superficial understanding. But without a deeper understanding, you’re unprepared to handle the nuances that are surely going to jump out during the journey.

Saving Yourself

The main issue with the titular adage of this piece is the false narrative that it implies. A more fitting saying might be: no one is coming to save you if you never ask for help. The stark reality is that the change you are looking for would’ve already happened if you were able to accomplish it. So what’s been missing from years past? Accountability. It’s not a lack of willpower, it’s not a lack of motivation, it’s the lack of having someone who has a deeper understanding holding you accountable when the territory gets rougher than the map seemed. In order to save yourself, you’ve got to ask for help from a sherpa.

Time is Ticking

So here we are, two months out. Plenty of time to prepare, do your research, figure out what the objective looks like. But going at it alone will just rinse and repeat how you got here in the first place. Pride is a killer, and assuming weakness through admitting you can’t do it alone is the noose that hangs you. There is no high-achiever that didn’t have a support system. If you’re truly motivated to make change, you need to identify where your range of execution ends and find someone or a group of someone's to help stretch your limits.