Excused Absence for Election Stress? How We're Failing to Build Resilient Leaders for Tomorrow

Excused school absences for election stress highlight a troubling trend: shielding children from challenges instead of preparing them to face life’s inevitable hardships. This article tackles the damaging effects of “safe spaces” and why mental toughness needs to make a comeback.

Nov 5, 2024

The recent announcement by the Ethical Culture Fieldston School in New York City allowing students to skip classes the day after the 2024 presidential election if they feel emotionally distressed should sound alarms for parents and educators alike. The intention may be rooted in compassion, but it underscores a more profound cultural shift that promotes avoidance over resilience. While I empathize with anyone feeling the anxiety and uncertainty of modern life, this policy exemplifies the pandering to perceived mental health crises that weaken, rather than strengthen, the character of our next generation.

The Rise of Weak Policies and Decline of Toughness

While serving in the military during the Global War on Terror, I witnessed firsthand what true resilience and grit look like. Soldiers who endured harrowing losses and relentless combat didn't have the luxury to step away or take a break when overwhelmed. In the military, we often quote, "Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times." This truth is now playing out in real time within our culture. By promoting policies that shield kids from discomfort, we are cultivating a society unprepared for the challenges that adulthood inevitably brings.

Think of the men who stormed the beaches of Normandy or fought on Iwo Jima. They faced an onslaught of violence, death, and chaos within seconds of landing. There were no safe spaces, no timeouts, and certainly no option to take the next day off. Despite the devastating loss and soul-crushing experiences, they pressed on. We might think using combat as a comparison is dramatic, but the reality is that life is hard—and it requires people who can face its brutal moments with resolve, not retreat.

Soldiers storming the beaches of Normandy / NARA NARA

Pandering to Weakness Under the Guise of Compassion

Policies like the one at Fieldston School are disguised as compassion, but they have long-term consequences. They signal to students that when faced with anxiety or adversity, avoidance is acceptable. It's a dangerous lesson that corrodes the mental fortitude required to push through life's volatility, uncertainty, chaos, and ambiguity (VUCA)— a term we used in the military to describe the unpredictable and harsh nature of operations and LIFE.

These policies fail to recognize that building resilience doesn't come from shielding young people from challenging experiences. It comes from pushing through, learning to manage discomfort, and emerging stronger on the other side. When my team lost a brother-in-arms during a mission, the loss was devastating - soul-crushing. Yet we didn't have the option to pause indefinitely. We mourned, honored our fallen comrade, put our kit back on, and went out the next night. We learned to carry that weight and keep moving. That is resilience.

Safe Spaces Aren’t Preparing Kids for Life

The notion of safe spaces and stress-free environments in schools is, at best, counterproductive, at worse crippling our children. Life does not offer safe spaces when faced with job losses, relationship failures, financial hardship, or health crises. How do we expect our kids to thrive in such conditions if we teach them to run at the first sign of stress? Instead of allowing students to miss school because they feel overwhelmed by election results, we should guide them on how to confront and navigate their feelings, learn from them, and develop emotional and mental toughness.

A safe space in a classroom / Conscious Discipline

Character isn't built in the absence of challenge; it is forged through shared hardship and pushing through difficult times. A crucial part of growing up is experiencing setbacks, learning to cope, and building the resilience to get back up. Yet, as a nation, we're fostering the opposite by catering to a culture prioritizing emotional fragility over strength.

A Call to Action: Building Future Leaders

Our role as parents, educators, and leaders is clear: we need to raise children who are kind, empathetic, respectful, and mentally tough. They should be capable of facing adversity head-on, learning from failure, and passing those lessons on to future generations. If not, those children will be a drain on future society, rather than a net positive to their fellow citizens. We must steer away from these woke policies that condition children to avoid hardship and embrace a culture that values resilience and perseverance.

To every school considering policies that cater to perceived fragility, remember: We do not prepare our youth by letting them sit out life's difficult moments. We prepare them by teaching them to show up, face discomfort, and grow from it. This approach doesn't mean ignoring legitimate mental health issues—it means fostering true strength that can coexist with vulnerability.

If we don’t change course, we are on a path that will leave the next generation ill-equipped to handle the realities of adult life. The world doesn’t care if you’re tired, overwhelmed, or anxious. It demands that you rise to meet it, and it will reward those who are ready. It’s time we start preparing our kids to be those people.