Far Post: The Indomitable Faustino Asprilla

That decision paid off in style. Asprilla scored a hat trick by the 49th minute -- a penalty followed by two headers. Newcastle eventually won the game

A young Faustino Asprilla stands with then-Parma manager Carlo Ancelotti, who now manages Real Madrid / AP

Faustino Asprilla attempts to get by former U.S. defender Alexi Lalas in the 1995 Copa America third-place game. The two also did battle in the 1994 World Cup in the USA :: Jorge Saenz/AP

Faustino Asprilla goes into an extravagant goal celebration after scoring for Newcastle :: Alex Livesey/Getty Images

That decision paid off in style. Asprilla scored a hat trick by the 49th minute -- a penalty followed by two headers. Newcastle eventually won the game 3-2, its first ever victory in the group stage of the competition. He later confessed that he was late that day because he was having sex with his English girlfriend.

Faustino Asprilla applauds the fans following his farewell match :: Raul Arboleda/AFP/Getty Images

Pablo Medina Uribe is a Colombian writer and a journalist who lives in New York City. He has investigated politics, sports and culture, and has published in Colombia, Germany, Italy and the United States. He also runs La Catedral, a blog about everything around football that is not actually the game. Follow him on Twitter: @derpoltergeist.