Jozy Altidore is bitten, has nipple tweaked vs. El Salvador, offers classic response

The U.S. men's national team forward was subjected to some foul play during a Gold Cup quarterfinal victory.

Things got a little weird for Jozy Altidore Wednesday night. O.K., they got a lot weird.

Altidore was bitten and had a nipple tweaked during the USA's Gold Cup quarterfinal victory over El Salvador in Philadelphia, but that didn't break his sense of humor.

In a bizarre sequence inside the El Salvador box during at around the hour mark of the 2-0 USA win, defender Henry Romero got a little handsy and followed up by doing his best Luis Suarez impression in trying to agitate Altidore. He received no discipline for his acts, though CONCACAF could retroactively issue a punishment upon seeing the videotape. And what videotape it is: 

Altidore wasn't even the only U.S. player who appeared to be bitten, with video evidence pointing to goal-scoring center back Omar Gonzalez also being a teeth-to-the-back victim.

The incidents made for a popular postgame topic among U.S. players, and Altidore himself delivered the grandest response of them all. Take it away, Jozy:

Altidore: "My girl is mad at me. She’s mad at me, she’s mad at Romero. She’s like ‘Only I can bite u, only I can grab your nipples.’ #usmnt

— Steven Goff (@SoccerInsider) July 20, 2017

Well, nobody's going to top that.