The Worst of the Worst: 11 Terrible Signings Crystal Palace Have Made Since Their Promotion
It is no secret that Crystal Palace have signed some absolute dross since winning promotion to the Premier League back in 2013, and while every club makes a blunder or two in the transfer window, a lot of the Eagles' captures have been mindbogglingly inexcusable for a team partaking in England's top flight.
For some reason unbeknown to myself, I have decided to rank the worst signings made by the south London club ever since that momentous day under the arch against Watford in the Play Off final, and if anything, it has been more humorous than labouring.
Having said that, you have to laugh, or you'll inevitably cry. Yes, it really is that bad.
Let's get into it shall we...
11. Jack Hunt
Signed from Huddersfield Town for £2m by Ian Holloway, Jack Hunt broke his ankle in his first training session for the club and never made an appearance for the Eagles.
The full back later spent time on loan at Barnsley, Nottingham Forest, Rotherham United and Sheffield Wednesday before joining the latter permanently, and Palace fans never even got to witness the defender play for them. Typical eh?
10. Andy Johnson
Club legend. Fans' favourite. Adored by all. Andy Johnson's return to Palace was more of a PR stunt rather than a signing of a viable first team option, as due to the fact that the forward's knees were made of polystyrene, the forward didn't play much football back in red and blue.
However, it was good to see AJ back in a Palace shirt and the move gave the Eagles' fans some much needed enjoyment in a time where the team was playing poorly, but he didn't offer much more than that.
9. Jimmy Kebe
The Malian winger joined Palace in a £2m move from Reading, played just 189 Premier League minutes, and ultimately had his contract terminated after reportedly not turning up for training.
Another Ian Holloway signing; Another complete failure... What a surprise.
8. Florian Marange
Marange joined on a free transfer from Bordeaux during the Ian Holloway Banter Window of 2013, and his treatment during his short stay in south London was, erm, harsh to say the least.
The Frenchman told L'Equipe shortly after his arrival: "I have never been presented to the press, I have never had an official photo and I am still waiting for my club suit. I stayed for 15 days in a hotel before finding somewhere to live and the club told me I had to pick up the bill."
Oh Palace, never change.
7. Jonathan Benteke
Yes, Crystal Palace really did sign Christian Benteke's little brother, just after he was released from Belgian side Zulte Waregem; and coincidentally, just two weeks after Christian was signed. Oh, and Jonathan was never registered in the Eagles' 25-man squad.
An absolute masterstroke signing by Alan Pardew, and certainly not the only error that the current West Brom boss made in the transfer window for the south London club. Not by a long shot.
6. Kevin Doyle
On deadline day back in September 2014, Neil Warnock actually sanctioned the departure of Glenn Murray and willingly bought in Kevin Doyle as his replacement. After examining the Irish striker as a part of his medical, the club doctor also asked Warnock if they could examine his head, in order to figure out what the f*** he was thinking.
5. Yaya Sanogo
Sanogo was, rather fittingly, Alan Pardew's first Crystal Palace signing, and it's fair to say that the pair are very suited to each other; as they're both terrible at what they do.
Pardew's headline quote about the French striker was that he would bring a 'chaos factor' to south London, and he wasn't wrong. Sanogo caused so much chaos that not even the forward himself knew what was happening most of the time.
4. Shola Ameobi
For some absurd reason, Alan Pardew decided that signing a 33-year-old Shola Ameobi on a free transfer would be a good idea. The club payed the Nigerian forward actual money to make just four sub appearances for the club, largely in the dying embers of games so that he could run the ball into the corner. This club...
3. Patrick Bamford
Patrick Bamford's loan move to Palace was terminated six months early, and the striker (if you can even call him that) dubbed his time at Selhurst Park as 'terrible', which is probably what most Eagles fans would call it too.
Should've gone to Harvard, mate...
2. Jordon Mutch
Get. In. The. Bin. That is all.
1. Emmanuel Adebayor
When the Togolese forward said that he'd have to Google his new club upon his arrival, you could just tell that his time at Palace would be a success. The former Arsenal, Real Madrid and Manchester City man scored just one goal in red and blue, and was actually paid £100,000 British pounds a week during his stay.
Anything's possible...