Mark Lawrenson Bares His Soul in Hilarious Reddit AMA

Last summer, in the heady days of the 2018 FIFA World Cup, we at 90min got to know Mark Lawrenson pretty well* - in weekly instalments, he astounded us as much

Last summer, in the heady days of the 2018 FIFA World Cup, we at 90min got to know Mark Lawrenson pretty well* - in weekly instalments, he astounded us as much as he confounded us - ...well, at least we thought we did. 

But, obviously, our journalistic filter meant providing a fully-fledged, unfettered Lawro was an impossibility. 

Fortunately, the world must wait no longer for this mythical creature, as unfiltered Lawro has now infiltrated our eyes, from which we will never see the same. That's right, Mark Lawrenson, in association with Paddy Power News, did a Reddit AMA ('Ask Me Anything').

We've somehow managed to convince Paddy Power ambassador Mark Lawrenson to do an Ask Me Anything over on Reddit. It's kicking off at 12pm. pic.twitter.com/gU64kBmGyF

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) April 29, 2019

Sit back, relax and enjoy the best bits right here:

*It was a parody, we didn't get to know him well, or at least not personally. There was some definite clairvoyance going on though, no doubt about it. But what's coming up is VERY MUCH real. Seriously. 

Before getting into the really meaty stuff, he warmed up with a couple of no-nonsense strikes. One user asked him who he thought would win in a Premier League managers Royal Rumble (a topic we have covered extensively, with a wider net than that, at 90min), to which he replied: "There can only be one winner. Sean Dyche. He scares me from 100 yards away."

A nice bit of semi-sanitised fun. 

The Lawro series continues - Lawro's Last 16 Lessons: FIFA World Cup Musings from the Mind of Mark Lawrenson https://t.co/XPPoo3AGNd via @90min_Football

— Wilfred Laurence (@WilfredLaurence) July 5, 2018

There was then a question asking why all pundits were ex-Liverpool players, to which he mused:

"Good question. I think it's because we won every trophy going - so we were always doing interviews. People knew we could speak semi-coherently. We all talk sh*te anyway."

Great stuff. Along those lines, but with a bit more bite, he was then asked if he was ever planning on breaking his streak of predicting Liverpool wins on his weekly column for BBC Sport, which is apparently up to 99 in a row ('or something'). 

This time he barked back: "In a word: no. You saddo."

Ok, here's where things descended a bit. A user asked, and I'll quote this question because it's extensive: "Hi Mark, how difficult is it to prepare for MOTD? Do you actually watch all the games or do you just watch the highlights beforehand? How much of the presenting is on the spot compared to rehearsed?"

Getty Images/GettyImages

Coming to it an hour later, the former Preston North End man explained in no uncertain terms: "A) I'm not a presenter - that's Lineker. B) not been on MOTD for five years. C) Who gives a sh*t."

Keeping it punditry-related, someone then submitted the following inquiry: "Out of all the pundits you have worked with, who is 1, the one you consider to have the least knowledge on football, 2, the most annoying, 3, the smartest with the most knowledge of football?"

For Lawro, this was a no-brainer: "1. Robbie Savage - never has a man been more aptly named 2. As above 3. Graeme Souness."

Cue obvious cries of 'savage'.

And then the descent reached rock-bottom. With the questions piling up, one user decided to take a different route in order to stand out from the crowd. Evoking Eric Cantona's recent Instagram post (yeh, that one), the Redditer probed if he'd ever tried to break an egg with his penis. Yeh, seriously. 

Ever-prepared, Lawro wasn't intimidated. Of course, he didn't need to answer it, but he was ready and willing, responding with a three-pronged (by that I mean three separate comments) riposte of: "No. What a knob... Not a seagull in sight. Or, not a bird in sight even."

To quote one subsequent commenter, 'poetic'.

Getty Images/GettyImages

But we can't end there, can we? So we'll leave you with a classic quip from the man, the myth, the legend. 

Following a familiar model, someone asked Mark if he would rather fight one Andy Carroll-sized duck or 100 duck-sized Andy Carrolls. Lawro, candid as ever, explained: "100 duck-sized Andy Carrolls. Because 95% would be injured anyway."

Never change, Lawro. Never change.