Thursday’s Hot Clicks: Phil Kessel’s Home Theater Isn’t As Depressing as it Looks

The boring true story behind a very funny photo.

Joe Sargent/NHL/Getty Images | Realtor.com

Things aren’t always as they seem

Phil Kessel is one of those athletes who you’d believe any story about. Even though he’s a star-level player who has won two Stanley Cups, he keeps a very low public profile. (He’s only made eight Instagram posts in the past year and hasn’t tweeted since his sister Amanda won a gold medal at the 2018 Olympics.) So even when a Toronto columnist fabricates a story about Kessel’s loyalty to a particular hot dog vendor, it sounds reasonably plausible.

The same goes for this story about Kessel’s home theater. 

The reserved Kessel certainly seems like just the type of guy to kick back in an old chair and watch a movie on a massive screen all by himself.

The enigmatic former Penguins winger put the home on the market for $2.1 million after being traded to the Coyotes and the listing photos show the home in the middle of the moving process. Some rooms have been cleared out while others have valuable items like a jersey signed by all of his Cup-winning 2016 teammates, so it’s tough to tell whether the version of the theater in the photo is the one Kessel actually used. 

In reality, though, the real estate agent staging the house just put the chair in there to give a sense of how big the room is. 

“We just put in a single chair because we thought it would be cute,” listing agent Dave Tumpa told TheWrap. “And as far as the room itself goes, to give perspective to the size of the room.”

While the solitary chair is a work of fiction, one thing that’s very, very real is the autographed Mariah Carey poster in the theater. 

See? Kessel is a fascinating man. 

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Josh Donaldson is more than a hitter

See, Kawhi is funny

"I don't have social media so I'm not able to put out a paragraph or whatever."

Kawhi took time to thank Toronto. pic.twitter.com/CBMrOQfGHM

— ESPN (@espn) July 24, 2019

Kawhi isn’t the most unnatural man with the Clippers

Bronny is getting so close

Have fun playing in empty stadiums

BYU fans would probably like 9 a.m. starts, though

Best answer of Pac-12 Media Day goes to Utah DE Bradlee Anae. Asked about what it's like to play BYU in Provo:

"There's nothing worse than playing in front of 60,000 sober white people."

— Alicia de Artola Castillo (@PenguinOfTroy) July 24, 2019

Sounds like it hurt

These are the medals that will be on the line in exactly one year

The moment you have all been waiting for, your #Tokyo2020 Olympic Medals! 🥇🥈🥉

RT for good luck! 100% #Sustainable #1YearToGo pic.twitter.com/DcLKtEF0DQ

— #Tokyo2020 (@Tokyo2020) July 24, 2019

It’s like he’s figure skating with the puck on his stick

That’s can’t be good

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John Travolta is starring in a movie directed by Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst

Jamie Foxx does a great Dave Chappelle impression

Perfectly preserved 500-year-old shipwreck discovered in the Baltic Sea

A good song

Email dan.gartland@simail.com with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to see previous editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.