Friday’s Hot Clicks: Injured Anthony Rizzo Returns Using the Undertaker’s Theme Song

By god, that’s Anthony Rizzo’s music!

Brian Cassella/Chicago Tribune | Kevin Mazur/WireImage

He’s back from the dead an ankle injury

This is probably the best way to sum up the past four days for Anthony Rizzo:

On Monday, Rizzo’s season looked over. He had rolled his ankle badly in Sunday’s game while fielding a bunt in front of the mound and the prognosis was not good. Rizzo couldn’t put any weight on the ankle and would be confined to a walking boot for the next five to seven days after an MRI revealed a lateral sprain. Cubs president Theo Epstein left the door open for an eventual regular-season return, but no one thought it would be just four days later. 

With the Cubs sitting three games behind the Cardinals in the National League Central, and St. Louis coming to town for the first four of seven games the two teams will play between now and the end of the regular season, Rizzo shed the walking boot and slid into the leadoff spot for the series opener. 

When it came time to step to the plate for his first at-bat, Rizzo opted for walk-up music that should strike fear into the heart of any pitcher. 

In the third, he proved he had risen from the dead by lifting a home home run to the opposite field. 

But the Cubs’ division hopes were chokeslammed by the Cards. Despite a three-run rally to tie the game in the ninth (after Rizzo had come out of the game), Chicago lost in extra innings and trails St. Louis by four games in the division and the Brewers by one game for the final Wild Card spot. 

It’s not quite as long as The Undertaker’s WrestleMania streak, but the Cubs have made the playoffs four years in a row and they’re not ready to count themselves out.

“We’re fighting at Wrigley Field in late September to go to the playoffs, and that’s where all the magic happens,” Rizzo said after the game. 

A million times better than Jags-Titans

The Thursday night football action you should have been watching came from the AAC. Houston and Tulane played a wild game that came down to a thrilling pair of final plays.

After Houston tied the game with a field goal and Tulane returned the ensuing kickoff to the 29, the Green Wave looked content to take it to overtime. But no, they faked the kneel-down. 

On the next play, Tulane somehow got away with throwing into triple coverage on what turned out to be a 53-yard touchdown pass.

You have to feel bad for the Houston players, especially the guy who was puking on the sideline. 

so... less than 291 pounds, at the moment, then? pic.twitter.com/TyeGGJ7DPF

— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) September 20, 2019

The best of SI

A slick financial adviser was able to gain the trust of many athletes, and then rob them blind. ... Antonio Brown is being accused of more disgusting behavior. ... The injury-plagued Yankees won their 100th game and clinched the AL East, but are they resilient enough to win the World Series?

Around the sports world

UConn accidentally stole a logo from NC State, but the Huskies are sorry about it. ... Two people stole a Patrick Mahomes cutout from a Kansas McDonald’s and crashed their car getting away. The cutout was not damaged. ... The Giants have decided not to let Mike Francesa yell at their head coach every week on the radio.

You heard the man, Tom doesn’t want to be protected by soft roughing the passer calls

I’m turning off this game I can’t watch these ridiculous penalties anymore #TENvsJAC

— Tom Brady (@TomBrady) September 20, 2019

It’s almost a pickoff

Juuuuuuuuuust a bit outside. 😂 pic.twitter.com/nJ7q4Pekl5

— Cut4 (@Cut4) September 20, 2019

Here’s what Charlie Culberson looks like after breaking his face

CHARLIE CULBERSON SIGHTING.

The @Braves' Roberto Clemente Award nominee gets a standing ovation. pic.twitter.com/llJovLw9nK

— Bally Sports: Braves (@BravesOnBally) September 19, 2019

Hydration is important

Gardner Minshew drinking a 7-11 Icee after the game. It may or may not be spiked. pic.twitter.com/NOaMVW5DtG

— Cork Gaines, Ph.D. (@CorkGaines) September 20, 2019

Ah yes, the Tampa Bay Panthers

It's the preseason for all of us... even rookie ref Dan Kelly, who called a penalty against Tampa during Panthers/Habs: pic.twitter.com/rESKLpk7YK

— Scouting The Refs (@ScoutingTheRefs) September 20, 2019

Philly fans are something else

#GoBirds pic.twitter.com/2Ek7UjW8SD

— philly kelly (@phillykelly) September 19, 2019

Offensive linemen never think it’s holding, though

I wonder if when one Schwartz burns his hand, the other Schwartz feels pain. pic.twitter.com/7RLjZnT7Zp

— Joe Posnanski (@JPosnanski) September 20, 2019

A plane probably would have been faster

Cyclists Ron Rutland and James Owens left England in February to hand over the whistle for the opening match of the Rugby World Cup in Tokyo #RWC2019 pic.twitter.com/eb7CeIrDgk

— Reuters (@Reuters) September 19, 2019

Daddy’s trying to do an interview here

Guys I don’t know if you realized this but Lorenzo Cain has three kids.

Fun fact: Two of them are climbers. pic.twitter.com/QHw18T0bhg

— Adam McCalvy (@AdamMcCalvy) September 19, 2019

Not sports

A South Carolina man demanded to know why a Jimmy John’s employee wrote “bitch” on his wife’s sandwich, not realizing it was “BLT with cheese.” ... If you ask Siri how old Bob Dylan is it’ll tell you he’s dead. ... Police in New Jersey couldn’t even subdue a crazy raccoon with a taser. ... Two Amish men ran away from the cops after being busted drinking in their horse-drawn buggy. 

216,000 dice spilled on the highway

Here kitty kitty

wow pic.twitter.com/SrtTxKCqg0

— LB™️ “𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘧𝘧” 🛢 (@LydiaBurrell) September 18, 2019

A good song

Email dan.gartland@simail.com with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to see previous editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.