Basket Gase: Best Headline Puns for the NFL's New Head Coach Hires

With Adam Gase now the Jets’ head coach, chances are he’s going to be the subject of at least a handful of New York newspapers' back pages. Here we present our best pun-ny headlines—you’re welcome, editors.

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The Jets’ hiring of Adam Gase gave us the first of many Gase-themed puns which will appear on the back of New York City’s warring tabloids, the New York Daily News and the New York Post on Thursday morning.

The News went with: GASE CLOSED, while the Post veered in the opposite direction with ADAM’S APPLE (Newsday lagged waaaaay behind in third with ‘Gase New Jets Pilot,’ which feels like a major disappointment.) Either way, it got us thinking about one of the most underrated parts of a fresh coaching tenure. Newspaper headline writers have spent years wringing all the juice out of their old puns (TOILET BOWLES, anyone?) but breathe new life as the endless potential for new jokes surfaces again.

We here at the MMQB (mostly colleague Jenny Vrentas and I, since almost none of you decided to help on Twitter) are here to assist them, and really any of us who enjoy a good old-fashioned headline joke. Also, damn you, Rich Eisen show, for taking all of the good Jets ones already. Without further ado, here are the best we could think of so far for every new head coach.

ADAM GASE

*Takes long, deep breath….*

COLD GASE
UPPER GASE
LOWER GASE
BRIEF GASE
GASE IN POINT
BLOW A GASE-KET
ADAM SHAME
WORST-GASE SCENARIO
ACE OF GASE (H/T Daniel Jeremiah)
CURIOUS GASE
I DON’T GIVE ADAM
GASE-OFF
EMPTY GASE
GASE INVADERS
BASKET GASE
BLANK GASE
GASE THE JOINT
NUT GASE
ADAM BOMB
SAVING GASE

This guy was made for New York.

VIC FANGIO

ONE VIC PONY
VIC-TORY (VIC-TORIOUS)
A VIC UP HIS SLEEVE
VIC OR TREAT
CON-VIC-TION
BIG VIC ENERGY (h/t to MMQB editor Mitch Goldich)
DUELING FANGIO (h/t to MMQB executive editor Mark Mravic)
NOT A FAN-GIO (h/t to MMQB executive editor Mark Mravic)
INVICTUS

KLIFF KINGSBURY

KLIFF BARRED
FIT FOR A KINGSBURY
KLIFF HANGERS
KLIFF DIVING
KLIFF JUMPING

BRUCE ARIANS:

BRUCE ALMIGHTY
BRUCE IS COOKED
BRUCE YOURSELF
BRUCE IT UP
FAST AND BRUCE
BRUCE CANNON
BRUCE’S LIPS SINK SHIPS
BRUCE CHANGE
CRUNK BRUCE

FREDDIE KITCHENS:

FREAKY FREDDIE
FREDDIE LOSER
HOLD FREDDIE
FREDDIE AS WE GO
KITCHENS FIRE
HELLS KITCHENS
FREDDIE OR NOT
FREDDIE TO GO
FREDDIE AND WILLING
FREDDIE TO RUMBLE
KITCHENS ISLAND
KITCHENS AID
KITCHENS CLOSED
THE KITCHENS SINK
REMODELED KITCHENS
TEST KITCHENS
RIGHT SAID FRED

MATT LAFLEUR:

FAST AND FLEURIOUS
FLEUR MAJESTY
FLEUR ALL
FLEUR SURE
MIRACLE FLEUR
DON’T FLEURRY, BABY
WELCOME MATT
DOOR MATT
PLACE MATT
GRAND FLEURRY
IN A FLEURRY
FLEURRY DUTY
TRIAL BY FLEURRY
FLEURRY UP OFFENSE
FISTS OF FLEURRY
A FLEUR THING
FLEUR FIRE

Thanks for reading. I’m so, so sorry.

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