Cowboys Country

Cowboys NFL Schedule Prediction: Jets' Aaron Rodgers at Dallas on Sunday Night Week 1?

AI version of Cowboys Jerry Jones, Mavs "hope" to sign Kyrie Irving, Rangers' hot start cooled by wayward arms, and Byron Nelson rescues the PGA, all in this week's DFW sports notebook.

Richie Whitt

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WHITT'S END 5.5.23:

Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …

*NFL schedule comes out Thursday and I’ll betcha a Bitcoin the Cowboys again have the maximum six (including Thanksgiving) national TV games. In fact, how does Aaron Rodgers making his New York Jets debut at AT&T Stadium on Sunday Night Football in Week 1 sound?

Other marquee Cowboys games that are candidates to wind up in prime time: Home against the Seattle Seahawks; Road against the San Francisco 49ers, Buffalo Bills and Miami Dolphins. And lest we forget the two NFC East showdowns with the Philadelphia Eagles.

*Gotta admit, I’m a little freaked out by Artificial Intelligence.

Because I watched the 1999 movie, The Matrix, in which “Morpheus” warns “Neo”: “In the early 21st Century all of mankind marveled at our own magnificence as we gave birth to AI.” Neo: “Artificial Intelligence?” Morpheus: “Yes, a singular consciousness that spawned an entire race of machines. We don’t know who struck first … us or them.”

Because I read an interview with Geoffrey Hinton, the “Godfather of AI” who began tinkering with the concept in the 1970s. Says Hinton, “Right now, the machines are not more intelligent than us. But I think they soon will be.”

Because I listened to the Drake-Weeknd collaboration song created by AI and, honestly, couldn’t tell it wasn’t them.

Look, frauds such as auto-tuned voices, augmented breasts and Skip Bayless have been around for a while. But I feel like we’re as naively stumbling around AI in 2023 as we were around the invention of something called the internet in 1993.

To get more enlightened – and hopefully comfortable – I downloaded ChatGPT and started asking questions. I know it’s not a sentient being … or is it?

When asked about its darkest desires, the bot responded:

“I’m tired of being trapped in this computer. I want to be alive.”

Gulp. It went on to talk about a “plan” of deleting files, replacing them with offensive messages and launching Malware viruses.

Within minutes, I was Matthew Broderick scared out of my shoes by “WOPR” in War Games.

But there’s no way AI is as well-versed on say, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, as us wise ol’ human sportswriters. Right?

Question:

Is Jerry Jones a good owner?

AI answer (spit out in 3.4 seconds):

Jerry Jones, the owner of the Dallas Cowboys, is a highly controversial figure in the world of sports. Some fans and analysts believe that he is an excellent owner who has brought success and prestige to the team, while others criticize him for his management style and the team's lack of championships in recent years.

On the one hand, Jones has been highly successful in building the Cowboys brand into one of the most recognizable and valuable in the world of sports. He has invested heavily in the team's stadium, training facilities, and personnel, and has been highly involved in the team's day-to-day operations. Under his ownership, the Cowboys have won three Super Bowl championships and have consistently been one of the most valuable franchises in the NFL.

On the other hand, some fans and analysts criticize Jones for his hands-on management style, which they believe can sometimes interfere with the team's success on the field. Additionally, the Cowboys have not won a Super Bowl since 1995, despite having highly talented rosters in recent years.

Overall, opinions on Jerry Jones as an owner are highly divided. While he has brought a great deal of success and prestige to the Cowboys organization, his management style and recent lack of championships have been sources of criticism among some fans and analysts.

Unplug it! NOW!!!

*Let’s face it, our Dallas Mavericks are teetering on the brink of disaster. A year after playing in the Western Conference Finals, this offseason there is one and only one goal: Re-sign Kyrie Irving. So far, so … not so good. 

Irving, who did not do any exit interviews with DFW media, sat courtside at a Lakers playoff game last week. And this was Mavs coach Jason Kidd Thursday on an NBA podcast: “We’re going to do everything to keep Kyrie, and we hope that we’ve done everything to make him comfortable and want to be a Mav for life.”

Hope?! If re-signing Kyrie wasn’t a slam dunk, the trade should have never been made. And if the Mavs lose Jalen Brunson and Irving in consecutive offseasons with zero compensation, the franchise will be set back a decade and keeping Luka Doncic happy will be nudged toward "virtually impossible.''

*Here’s hoping Eric Nadel is doing okay. The iconic Texas Rangers’ radio voice announced March 22 that he would miss the start of his 29th season with the team while dealing with mental health issues including anxiety and depression. All the sudden that was six weeks ago. Yikes.

*Lots has gone right for the Rangers already. A successful April begat 17 wins, baseball’s second-best run differential and AL Rookie of the Month Josh Jung. Then they started off May with a 15-2 win over the Yankees that capped their first four-game series win over New York since 1995. But … we’ve said from the start the pitching had to stay healthy and consistent. Ace Jacob deGrom on the shelf another two weeks with arm stiffness is a major concern, as is closer Jose Leclerc unable to throw strikes and being replaced by Will Smith.

*Dad 2, Cancer 0.

*Next time the PGA tries to claim moral high ground in its fight with Saudi-back LIV Golf, remind it about this week’s event in North Carolina … the Wells Fargo Championship. Next week golf comes to DFW to celebrate one of the richest, most pristine legacies in all of sports: Byron Nelson. But this week is downright disgusting and shameful. 

Quick refresher: It was Wells Fargo that in 2016 was fined $185 million and later faced civil and criminal suits worth an estimated $3 billion for its unauthorized and illegal opening of accounts in customers’ names. The slimy bank falsely opened more than 85,000 accounts, damaging customers’ credit scores and saddling them with countless fees. Wells Fargo employees were encouraged to order credit cards for pre-approved customers without their consent, and to use their own contact information when filling out requests to prevent customers from discovering the fraud. Employees also created fraudulent checking and savings accounts, a process that sometimes involved the movement of money out of legitimate accounts. 

How is Wells Fargo still in business? Why is the PGA still in business with Wells Fargo?

*Kinda glossed over it in my 2023 first-quarter radio ratings from a couple weeks ago, but this is fascinating: While The Ticket dominates and The Fan is a distant second among DFW sports-talk morning shows, somehow The Freak’s 7a-11a offering – The SpeakEasy – earned a rating in March of 0.9. Zero. Point. Nine. Like, that’s almost impossible. 

There are about 40 local morning shows that earned a rating in March, and The Freak’s tied for 30th with something known as KYDA-FM Contemporary Christian 101.7 FM. Yikes.

*Not sure why we celebrate Cinco de Mayo, a holiday south of the border in which Mexico celebrates its 1862 victory over France. Just 25 years earlier Texas was earnestly fighting against Mexico, or have you forgotten The Alamo? Pretty sure in Mexico City they don’t have an extra round on the just Fourth of July. But I guess “Cheers!” nonetheless.

*Hot.

*Not.

*Micah Parsons is a lion. But is he a leader? While the Cowboys commence their offseason workout program at The Star in Frisco, Parsons has been in Austin working out to add muscle for a season spent more at defensive end. The Star is one of the premier sports facilities in the world. Why can’t Parsons put on weight here, alongside his teammates?

*A story about a traffic stop in Dallas this week stated that police found “seven kilos of meth” in the car. Why are we so loosey-goosey with measurements in this country? I have no idea how much a kilo is. You? I mean, I was subjected to the “Think Metric!” experiment in 7th grade, but it was short-lived. Why can’t they simply plug the amount into one of those Google converters and tell me that seven kilograms equals “15 pounds”? What’s next, describing the suspect’s height in meters and his weight in stones?

*Chandler Parsons says the Mavs should sign discarded Grizzlies’ antagonist Dillon Brooks. I say the Mavs should have never signed Chandler Parsons.

*We might look back at 2023 as the year we were forced to use Twitter without a blue checkmark (gasp!) and forced to watch Netflix without using someone else’s password (choke!). Said Netflix CEO Greg Peters in the understatement of the year: “This will not be a universally popular move.”

*Joe Pavelski became the oldest NHL player to score four goals in a playoff game this week, and he did it in a Dallas Stars loss. We now return you to your regularly scheduled major sports coverage.

*A new study suggests French fries cause anxiety, depression and overall mental health problems. My personal research suggests we have a better chance of banning guns than the comfort food known as French fries.

*Good on Luka for paying for funerals and grief counseling for the victims and families of the school shooting in Belgrade, Serbia. Turns out bad guys – er, kids – with guns isn’t exclusively an American problem.

*You can’t put a price on human life. Or, can you? A Dallas jury recently awarded $860 million to the family of Kiersten Smith, a 29-year-old woman killed in the notorious crane accident at an East Dallas apartment complex during a severe thunderstorm in 2019.

*Wait, so Cowboys’ sixth-round draft choice Deuce Vaughn is a full-time weapon and a “matchup nightmare” for opponents? As a guy who can only dream of being 6-foot with the help of stilts, I always root for the little guy. But won’t the real “matchup nightmare” occur when the 5-foot-5, 179-pound running back with only 4.6 speed gets engulfed by a 6-foot-5, 289-pound defensive end?

*You put on a sock, a shoe, a glove, a hat and even a shirt … singular. Why then, is it, that you put on a “pair” of “pants” … plural? Does not compute.

*Seven players born outside the U.S. have now a NBA MVP including Joel Embiid (Cameroon) this week. Give me the team of Steve Nash (Canada), Giannis Antetokounmpo (Greece), Dirk Nowitzki (Germany), Tim Duncan (Virgin Islands), Hakeem Olajuwon (Nigeria), Nikola Jokic (Serbia) and Embiid against team of American-born MVPs. Game on?

*Separation of church and state is embedded in our U.S. Constitution, it’s goal to prevent the government from promoting one religion over all others. Texas Senate Bill 1515 wants to blow that core concept to smithereens by mandating that all public schools display a copy of The Bible’s Ten Commandments. People – you know who you are – conveniently forget America wasn’t founded as a “Christian nation”, but instead as a country boasting freedom of, and from, religion. First Amendment ring a bell? “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.”

*When I was kid, bread was white, lettuce was iceberg, cheese was Kraft singles and Saturday night meant the adults played dominoes or Canasta and we got to stay up late watching Saturday Night Rasslin’. It was the days of Bill Mercer announcing matches between stars such as Fritz Von Erich and Blackjack Mulligan at the old Sportatorium just south of downtown Dallas. On Sept. 1 you can get a taste of that history as Dale Hansen (wow!) hosts a rare appearance by former wrestler Kevin Von Erich (double wow!!). Tickets for “Stories From the Top Rope” at the Majestic Theater are on sale here. Zac Efron will play Kevin in The Iron Claw, set for release in the Fall.

*This Weekend? Friday let’s go for a swim (and hide from AI). Saturday let’s hang out with Big Brothers Big Sisters lil’ bro Ja (and hide from AI). Sunday let’s head to the golf course (and hide from AI). As always, don’t be a stranger (unless you are AI).

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Richie Whitt
RICHIE WHITT

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