Dallas Cowboys Coach Mike McCarthy After Surgery: 'Ready to Go!' Dak Prescott Owns NFC East - And Philadelphia Eagles?
COWBOYS WHITT'S END 12.8.23:
Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …
*Yes, the Dallas Cowboys wanted coach Mike McCarthy to make a miraculous recovery from a mid-week appendectomy. And, sure, they’re praying for iconic radio voice Brad Sham to be back in the booth after missing last week’s game and being hospitalized over the weekend.
And all is good there, with McCarthy saying in pregame on 105.3 The Fan, "I'm ready to go. Everything's good. Our operation will be the same. ... Everything is status quo."
But, let’s be honest, all they really need to beat the Philadelphia Eagles in Sunday night’s NFC East showdown at AT&T Stadium is for Dak Prescott to be, well, Dak Prescott.
A sign of how far modern medicine has advanced: in 1975 my Mom went to the hospital with acute appendicitis and stayed for a week. McCarthy had the same surgery Wednesday morning, was released that afternoon and is expected to be on the sideline four days later.
Meanwhile, Brad Sham, the Cowboys’ signature voice since 1976, said he hopes to call the Eagles game after falling ill on the way to last week’s against the Seahawks. It’s not lost on him that Texas Rangers’ Hall-of-Fame radio voice Eric Nadel missed time last season but returned to call his team’s championship. Said Sham this week of duplicating the feat: “That’s the plan.”
While those (hopefully) warm-’n-fuzzy “comeback” stories provide a nice backdrop for the most anticipated game of the season, Prescott’s play is almost always enough to clobber the Eagles in Arlington.
The quarterback owns the NFC East, with a career record of 30-8 against Philly, Washington and the Giants. But at AT&T Stadium he’s particularly lethal against the Eagles, going 5-1. In those six games, he’s completed 70 percent (148 of 212) of his passes for 1,711 yards and 12 touchdowns. He has thrown eight interceptions, three coming in his lone home loss to Philly (37-9 in 2017).
With Prescott in uniform, the Eagles’ defense has been hapless in Texas. In the six games, the Cowboys have averaged 31 points and in the last three scored 37, 41 and 40.
Well-wishes to McCarthy. Godspeed, Brad. But, above all else, when wishing to predict a Dallas win here, make sure Dak is healthy and in the building Sunday night at 7:20.
*Who wore it best: Dirk Nowitzki or Luka Doncic? On Dec. 16, 2009 Dirk debuted a headband and produced a 35-point, 11-rebound night to help the Mavs beat the Thunder to improve to 19-7.
Said Dirk of the new look, “My hair’s so long I’ve got to rock a headband. It worked, so we’ll see.”
On Dec. 6, 2023 Luka debuted his version of a headband in a 40-point triple-double to help the Mavs wallop the Jazz to improve to 12-8.
Said Luka of his new look, “I’m getting longer hair, so I need it so it doesn’t fall in my eyes. I don’t use gel anymore.”
Dirk wins, because his locks were long and flowing. Luka’s hair is still relatively short. Besides, his accessory is less of a headband and more of a strap usually seen on women playing soccer.
Also during his career, Dirk once shaved his head and went a month or two with a buzzcut. Shhhhh, don’t tell Luka.
*So much for the tease of the Rangers landing Shohei Ohtani. Guess reliever Kirby Yates will have to do, for now.
*Sorry, Florida State, but the College Football Playoff committee got it right. Michigan, Washington, Texas and Alabama are the four best – most deserving – teams. Sure the Seminoles went 13-0. My (sorta) sympathies. But a couple reasons they don’t belong in the final four.
1. Their best win came over No. 13 LSU, while the final four each had three wins against the Top 25.
2. In the two games since losing starting quarterback Jordan Travis they deteriorated into Iowa, with a stout defense but an offense that could barely manage field goals. Florida State trailed 5-7 Florida midway through the fourth quarter and managed just one touchdown on a Louisville defense that surrendered 38 and 31 points the previous two weeks. To the “What more could we have possibly done?!” claims, a history lesson: In 2014 Ohio State starting quarterback J.T. Barrett suffered a season-ending injury early in its win over Michigan. With backup Cardale Jones, the Buckeyes not only finished the 14-point win over the rival Wolverines but in the Big Ten Championship Game routed Wisconsin, 59-0. They made the playoff, beat Alabama and Oregon and won the title. With their backup, Ohio State was just as good. Without their starter, Florida State wasn’t the same, deserving team.
*Hate to go all “Bah, humbug!” on your Christmas spirit, but I have a legit logistical question about Amazon’s wildly popular new TV ad. You know the one: The obligatory twinkling piano serenades three old women looking wistfully up the giant, snow-covered hill as sledders frolic down it, only to then order some seat cushions and join the fun. Goosebumpy, but … how’d they get to the top of that steep hill? I’ll embrace Santa, his flying reindeer and all three ghosts of Christmases past, present and future before I believe they could’ve made that climb. We’re such gullible suckers at this time of year. Well, not all of us.
*Oh, baby! Rangers’ star Marcus Semien’s wife delivered their fourth child just before the ALCS. Luka became a father last week when his fiancée had a baby girl. And Prescott and his girlfriend announced recently that they are expecting their first child in March. I see a trend. What I’m pleasantly surprised I don’t see: Outrage from DFW’s Bible thumpers at Dak and Doncic daring to have sex out of wedlock.
*Hot.
*Not.
Cowboys are 5-1 at AT&T Stadium with Dak Prescott at QB, averaging 31 points per game.
Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports
*“Here we go!” So, where did Prescott come up with his catchy cadence? “Really, we wanted to make sure that we’re all getting off, using the cadence to our advantage,” he says. "The linemen wanted a little something before. For me, really, it’s to tell them, stop the communicating, here we go.”
*After reading the most hypocritical quote in the history of human mouths, allow me to boomerang Deion Sanders’ infamous words right back on top of his own narcissistic noggin’:
“Do you believe now?!”
As in, for years I’ve tried to expose the biggest fraud in the history of DFW sports. Now that he’s doing it for me, “Do you believe now?!”
A little background: Deion is the guy who, while with the Cowboys in the 1990s, lived in a big house in the affluent North Dallas neighborhood of Starwood enclosed by a 10-foot privacy fence. All he wanted, it seemed, was a little peace, quiet and anonymity. Except, that is, for the 5-foot, gold-encrusted letters on the front gate that spelled out “PRIME TIME 21.”
Nobody bother me. But, please, everybody notice me.
Fast forward to this season when, as the new coach at Colorado, he paraded around in a sweatshirt that read “Ain’t Hard to Find!”, gave a sit-down interview to 60 Minutes, repeatedly yelled about how his team was going to “win,” and allowed Amazon cameras to document the inner workings of his program and his life in the series debuting this week, Coach Prime.
Need a snappy sound byte? Deion. Need a photo shoot? Deion. Need someone controversial as your Sportsperson of the Year? Deion. He is the all-time depiction of style-over-substance, confirmed by his team losing eight of its last nine games and – even more so – for this preposterous review of the season: “You always wish that you had a little more privacy.”
My honest reaction would wear out the l’s and o’s and l’s of my keyboard. Fittingly, to which publication did Deion give his priceless quote? People magazine, that bastion of humility and obscurity.
Supreme (slimy) spin doctor that he is, Deion claims – despite the 4-8 record that didn’t qualify for a bowl game – the season was a smashing success. How’s that? “Outside of Boulder, people may think that we weren’t successful because of the record. Inside of Boulder, our fan base is like, ‘Y’all have lost y’all’s minds!’ Do you understand what we were, and do you understand what we are? We sold out every game. I can’t walk through an airport or on campus anywhere without someone having Colorado apparel. It was a tremendous season of hope.”
He’s already fueling hot air into the hype machine for 2024, saying “We’ll be in the 12-team playoff, I guarantee it!” And to whom did he give this juicy promise? Good Morning America. Because of course he did. For a guy who claims to cherish privacy, Deion Sanders is horrible at staying private. But that’s Deion: Demand the spotlight, and then blame those who expose him with a light that’s too bright.
*Hate it: Calling my insurance company’s “advocate” who is probably located in the outskirts of Bangladesh and apparently speaks English only as a third language.
*Love it: Hitting “Skip” on YouTube ads. So empowering and satisfying to have such control.
*Saturday night will bring us the next episode of the most overhyped, overrated award in all of sports: The Heisman.
No? You can guarantee that a Summa Cum Laude graduate from the Wharton School of Business is gonna kill it in the real world. But will a college quarterback crowned “best player in America” succeed at the next level in the NFL? I’ll allow the last 21 Heisman QBs – none of which has won a Super Bowl – to answer that question: Andre Ware. Ty Detmer. Gino Torretta. Charlie Ward. Danny Wuerffel. Chris Weinke. Eric Crouch. Carson Palmer. Jason White. Matt Leinart. Troy Smith. Tim Tebow. Sam Bradford. Cam Newton. Johnny Manziel. Jameis Winston. Marcus Mariota. Lamar Jackson. Baker Mayfield. Kyler Murray. Joe Burrow. Considering his awful rookie season, we’ll eventually add Bryce Young to this list.
*Progress, much? TIME magazine’s “Person of the Year” for 2023 is Taylor Swift. Its “Man of the Year” in 1938? Adolf Hitler.
*The Mavs are up, down and all around. Gotta admit, a 12-8 team has never been so must-see-TV mesmerizing. One game they go on a record 30-0 run, in a loss. Next game Luka gets a triple-double in the first half of a 50-point win. LeBron and the Lakers come to town Tuesday night. Prepare accordingly.
*McKinney Republican state representative Frederick Frazier is a 28-year police veteran who will never again work in law enforcement. In 2022 he impersonated a code compliance officer and had election signs of his opponent removed from a Walmart. He agreed to a plea deal this week that comes with a dishonorable discharge from the Dallas Police Department. From the same neck of the woods: a Texas man who threatened to kill officials whom he accused of stealing the 2020 Presidential election has been sentenced to two years in prison. Thankfully, our country’s trendy and arrogant bending of rules and meddling with elections come equipped with real consequences.
*It’s always about the money. Unless it’s Shaq Leonard dissin’ the Cowboys for the Eagles?
*There are 30 NBA teams. Mavs are 29th in rebounding. Entertaining or not, they are going nowhere fast unless that improves. Drastically.
*I’m convinced that the faster we pursue comfort, the quicker we age. So … I sincerely hope the trio of women did indeed hike up that hill. Good for them if they did. (They did not.)
*Including last week’s Cowboys-Seahawks thriller, there have been five games in NFL history without a punt. McCarthy has been head coach in three of them.
*Boy, Earth sure is a big place. Hold my beer, and – while you’re at it – my planet. I mean, yeah, compared to Mercury, or perhaps a small pony, our home is indeed “big.” But … you could fit 1.3 million Earths inside the sun. If that doesn’t boggle your brainpan, try this one on for size: The James Webb Telescope has discovered an unfathomably giant, “ulatramassive” black hole … big enough to fit 30 billion – billion! – suns inside it. In the big picture, we’re smaller than the tiniest speck of dust.
*Wait, Dirk’s childhood crushes were … Lil’ Kim and Foxy Brown? Would’ve lost that bet.
*Not surprisingly, post-NFL Jason Witten is a much better coach than he was TV analyst. His Liberty Christian High School team last week won the TAPPS Division 2 State Championship.
*This Weekend? Friday let’s recover from Thursday night’s Christmas party and attend another Christmas party. Saturday let’s make a quick jaunt to Austin for a Christmas party. Sunday let’s make it back home in time for yet another Chri … just kidding, Cowboys-Eagles. Duh. As always, don’t be a stranger.
