Concession Food Item of the Week: The Fan vs. Food Burger at Tropicana Field in Florida

Last week we brought you a magical giant pretzel known as the North Side Twist. But if pretzels feel like more of a snack to you, don't worry. This week's item

Last week we brought you a magical giant pretzel known as the North Side Twist. But if pretzels feel like more of a snack to you, don't worry. This week's item is a full meal... or like, 5-6 full meals.

WHAT DO THEY CALL THIS WITCHCRAFT?: The Fan vs. Food Burger

WHAT COMPRISES SUCH A THING?: A traditional burger with meat, cheese, bacon, lettuce, onion, and tomatoes.

SERIOUSLY, THAT'S IT? JUST A CHEESEBURGER? This is no ordinary cheeseburger, my friend. Weighing it at 4 pounds, accompanied by 1 pound of fries, and presumably served on a bun the size of a bean bag chair, the Fan vs. Food Burger uses eight 8oz patties, thirty-two slices of bacon, and at least eight slices of cheese. And don't forget that pound of fries.

Finish our 4-pound Fan vs. Food Burger & a pound of fries, get 2 tickets to a future #Rays game & a shirt. #LiteLunch pic.twitter.com/THhgk90gn2
— Tampa Bay Rays (@RaysBaseball) March 28, 2014

WHO HATH WROUGHT THIS MONSTROSITY: Tropicana Field, home of the Tampa Bay Rays.

HOW MANY CALORIES WE TALKIN’?: There's (understandably) no nutrition info on the website, but a McDonald's Quarter Pounder comes in at 520 calories. Multiply that by 16 and…. dear lord.

HOW BAD IS IT?: 8320 calories. Without the fries.

IS THAT SAFE?: No.

AND HOW MUCH DOES IT COST?: $30. That's less than half a cent per calorie!

KNOWN ENEMIES: Common sense, good judgment, Bartolo Colón.

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Concession Food Item Hall of Champions:

The North Side Twist

The Brunch Burger

The Hawk Dog

Crab Mac & Cheese Dog

Potachos

The Beast